Memphis Y'all: Two Months Midsouth

He said, she said: What was your first date like? | June 11, 2010

I want to do this new thing. I want to re-tell stories that I’ve heard. We’ll see. It might be terrible. In this case I am the “she said” and my friend is the “he said.” The stories are two different ones, though I realize now that it may seem like the same one from two different perspectives. It’s his first date and mine, not the same date told from two povs. Let me know what you think!


He said, she said: What was your first date like?

He said:

I’m almost embarrassed to say this, but I met her at a funeral. Friend of a friend or something, so maybe it wasn’t that bad. Her name was Amy. She was the friend of my older brother. He’s three years older than me but she was my age and in my grade.

I was so afraid of girls. I was so scared to ask them out.

One day she wrote this note. She folded it up into a pterodactyl, a kite or something. It was folded up all cute and stuff. The writing was pink and like bubbles. So she gave the note to her friend and the friend gave it to me. I remember thinking that her friend was so hot, the one that was giving me the note, you know? I hadn’t gotten anything like that from a girl or anything before. It said:

I think that you are so cute. When I am in math class and I day dream and I think about you. I think about you all the time.

You know, I have no idea what it said. No clue at all. That day when I was walking home from school with my friends I showed it to all of them. None of them had girlfriends or anything. I mean I suppose that they had friends that were girls, but they didn’t kiss or anything like that. It was like they were holding a treasure map, the note, and GIRLS were the treasure over the rainbow or something. They passed the note around and all read it.

I never saw the note again. I guess my friend kept it. Yea, I never saw it again.

I got home that afternoon and I told my mom about the note. I told her that I thought I would ask Amy to a movie or something. My mom told me to do it right away. When I called her I had no idea what I was going to say. I invited her over to my house.

Oh my God, I can’t believe that I’m about to tell you this.

I remember that I was making oatmeal. I was living with my mom at the time and the only thing there was to eat at the house was oatmeal, so I was making oatmeal. I told Amy on the phone that I was cooking it and she said, “oatmeal is gross.” I like freaked out and was like, “yea, oatmeal is so gross, that’s why I’m making it for my brother.”

Yea, I told her that I was making it for him and when it was done I ate it so fast before she came over.

When she got to my house I didn’t know what to say to her. I was so freaked out. Then my mother, she did this thing, I’ll never forget. She’s got this really outgoing personality. She asked Amy out for me. She said, “My son wants to know if you’d like to go to the movies with him.” I thought my Mom ruined my life, but somehow Amy and I went to the movies.

There might has well have been the Great Wall of China between us because nothing happened. After that I was so scared to ask her out again. I kept waiting for the right moment and then it would pass and I would think, “next time, buddy, next time.” Next time never came. Finally I decided to let it go and stop beating up my brain trying to ask her out. You know, I looked back on that a few years later, so I guess I was 15 or so and I realized how dumb I was. I missed my big chance.


She said:

We flirted with each other the whole semester. We were in the eighth grade. He sat in front of me. I remember thinking that his big eyebrows and short-sleeve button downs were just the cutest thing. I also remember thinking that he was the spitting image of movie actor Josh Hartnette.  Either way, this boy and I, cat and mouse, chatted back and forth and were a constant source of reprimand in match class and study hall. I told all of my friends that we were going to get married. That’s what girls say to each other, especially when you just know that it’s going to happen.

Upon occasion he sent me and instant message on AOL and we’d talk about his skate boarding. Talking to this boy was like getting closer and closer to fire for me. I was terrified of boys, especially the ones that I thought were cute. I think I thought that if we went out that he would kiss me or something equally as terrifying—maybe some hand holding. I know, this getting out of control.

I can’t remember exactly how he got my home telephone number. I’m sure that I wrote it in his yearbook or he wrote his number in mine. He called me after school the day that school let out for the summer. He asked me to go see some action movie, I think that it was X-Men. Obviously he didn’t know my sensibilities because even now I hate action. But on the phone that afternoon I froze. “Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap,” was running through my mind, “I’m talking to a boy and I think that he likes me and, holy crap, I think that he’s going to ask me out or ask me do hard drugs or something and I don’t-holy shit-know what I’m going to say in this very new, very bizarre situation.”

Basically I have no idea what he said to me on the phone because my brain was rattling around my sweet little head.

I remember demanding that he allow me to bring my best friend, Lulu.

“Bring your friend,” he asked, “why?”

“Because, you know group discounts and stuff,” I said.

“Oh yea, sure.”

Immediately after ending our conversation I dialed up Lulu and demanded that she clear her very important summer schedule and come to the movies with me and my date. Because she was an angel, she agreed. My dad drove—that was the only way that this was going to work because Lulu’s parents could not know that we were going to the movies with a boy—and he picked up.

In the theater I sat next to my date and my third wheel sat on the other side. I wondered, with sure fright, if my body was going into pre-death riger mortis.


1 Comment »

  1. Love this…a little worried that the first “related post” is “The Texarkana Hotel and Murder” though…

    Comment by Erica — June 17, 2010 @ 12:49 am

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